How to be truly unfuckwithable?
What are the consequences if you are not truly unfuckwithable?
Before, getting into the discussion let’s go through a few questions. Tweet
👎Are you bothered by what others think about you?
👎If someone didn’t text you or check on you back and you wonder what you did wrong?
👎Do you restrict yourself from doing something new just because you fear what society and the world might think about you?
👎You tried something new and nobody praised you.
👎Are you into pleasing people just because you are afraid of losing them or feeling alone?
👎 Do you always get bogged down when you see your friends and colleagues progressing at a faster rate than you?
👎Are you afraid of getting left in the dust?
These are signs of tiny blows that eats off your confidence in the long run. And the reason they have such a big effect is that you’re seeking external approval.
You don’t feel whole. You place your worth in hands of others and only feel good enough when you are accepted, praised, and admired.
In other words
Humans suck sometimes!
Look we all have a natural craving for seeking validation. We seek approval as well as praise. We feel whole when we prove ourselves to others. At the same time, fear of being rejected bothers us. So, we fail to act big, live big. What if I fail? This question eats us more than the task itself. To compensate we get six-pack abs, get an expensive car, or start relying on materialistic things. The underlying belief is that we don’t feel whole, we don’t feel worthy enough. Getting rid of the underlying belief is not only important but also crucial to become unfuckwithable.
We’ll go through five life-transforming ways to be unfuckwithable.
As you move towards unfuckwithability with the below-given steps, you will no longer need to seek validation from outside opinion or through the attainment of your goals. Instead, you will be at more peace with yourself and the world around you.
If you are interested, you can break free and can become unfuckwithable.
Step1: Have goals that are (self fueled) rather not fueled by others. Be unfuckwithable
If your goal is to get particular people to admire you, to believe you, to praise you, you give your power away to them. You are at the sympathy of others.
So instead of receiving always, let’s be grateful for what we have. And start giving back the world in return. Your goal should be to bring as much energy, love, and enthusiasm as you can to the lives of those around you.
Then you’re unfuckwithable. Oh, how does this work? It’s because you are always in control of giving. You are in control of giving love, energy, enthusiasm, and nobody can take this away from you. Any love or acceptance you get in return is just a bonus.
What to give and how to give?
It can be a small thing as giving someone a compliment, bringing a smile on someone’s face, emailing or messaging someone a thank you message, checking out on someone you wanted to talk to for 5 years.
Do you know!
The next step can make you jump higher and make a hill seem less steep
Step2: Radical Forgiveness
Fascinated right? How can forgiveness do bodily changes? Forgiveness is an important key to being unfuckwithable. Any form of criticism, any negativity thrown towards you, doesn’t affect you.
For instance, according to psychology social rejection causes people to experience actual feelings of coldness. Similarly, anger causes people to estimate that the ambient temperature of a room is hotter than it actually is. Relevant to this, the abstract concept of forgiveness is often discussed in terms of the concrete bodily experience of letting go of a heavy weight.
Similarly, unforgiveness entails carrying heavy burdens and forgiveness may release this burden.Tweet
As noted by authors,
- Forgiveness takes the burden of hate, guilt, and bitterness off your back, and with a lighter load, you can climb higher and faster.
- Forgiveness has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim.
- It can lighten our load.
- Once the choice of forgiveness is made, the burden is lifted from the offended one.
So you see the advantages of forgiveness and how it can give you wings. But the question is, why should you forgive that person who wounded you for life?
You see if you don’t forgive, who is at a loss? You or the person who hurt you? Who is feeling hurt now? Definitely not him.
Forgiveness is releasing yourself of your mental prison. You let go of the things for which you were never responsible!Tweet
How to forgive?
Let’s go through a simple step in learning how to forgive. I call it the fire technique.
Firstly, sit in a meditative position. Do some deep breaths. Secondly, imagine a cosmic fire coming from heaven( that is my way of doing forgiveness). You may imagine your god or whatever power you believe in coming in front of you and the person you want to forgive. Thirdly, feel all the anger, bitterness, resentment you have against that person. Let it all go to the cosmic fire or the power in between. Imagine all that hatred boiling in your body, coming forth out of you, and going in that fire. P.S. (don’t do it for more than 3 mins). Fourthly, ask yourself what must have made them do that act? What they must have gone through? Bring empathy in. Maybe they went through childhood trauma, maybe they had a poor relationship with themselves. They may have faced poverty in childhood which made them rob you.
Above all, remember you are doing this for you and not for them. Empathy is the highest intelligence. Forgive into love. After you finish this process, you may want to send the power back to where it came from. Thank the power.
How to stop worrying about what others think?
Step3: Simply breathe, feel, and say I am enough.
Why say this? I mean, just why. Before you burst out, listen to me carefully.
People suffering from food addiction, drug addiction, shopping addiction, hoarding addiction all have a common problem. Olympic medal winners, actors, stars, businessmen all have a common problem. Most of our problems arise because we constantly compare ourselves to others. The underlying belief is ‘I don’t feel enough‘. Our parents also do it without realizing it, “why you can’t be like your sister or brother?”
So we start buying into this belief that I am not enough. If you think you’re not smart enough, attractive enough, interesting enough, intelligent enough, lovable enough, if you have issues with shopping, eating, hoarding then there is a quick fix for you. Even drinking, binge-watching on Netflix to hide from the feeling of not enough, I promise you, it’s incredibly easy to fix that.
Take a lipstick or a marker pen and write over your mirror, ‘I am Enough.’ Write everywhere possible in your notebook, in your business diary, in your daily journal. Schedule notifications on your phone.
Words create your reality. You are what you believe. You make your beliefs and your beliefs make you.Tweet
When you internalize this, you don’t need to depend on others for validation.
Being unf*ckwithable means whatever you are doing is best and you are good enough. No changes, no upgrades or tweaks required.
How to not give a fuck?
Step 4: Be present minded
When am cooking something, I will be thinking of how my blog is doing, how do I optimize it? If I am reading something, the other thing I notice is me thinking of the notification on my phone. When I am on Instagram I will be thinking why am I using it to validate myself? I will be better exercising and focusing on self-improvement rather than do that. Do you see the worry loop? It happens to all of us. One worry leads to another. The problem is being present-minded and living in the moment, enjoying the current moment.
Social media detox
Not long before, I learned the present centeredness technique from my meditation teacher. You can use it to pull yourself out of stress and anxiety and return to happiness in the now.
Firstly, take a deep breath. Secondly, focus on the object in front of you. Look at its color, its design, how intricately it is made. For instance, if you can observe a vase in front of you, look at all its details. Observe the rise and fall of your breath, the design of your hand. Keep a note of all the thoughts in your mind. Try to keep them to a minimum. Practice this technique until you have a minimum of 3-4 thoughts in your mind for a span of 2 mins.
Unf*ckwithable means to become resistant to praise and criticism and have self fueled goals that don’t support the choice of others. By now, you may be familiar with being immune to criticism and praise and living life your way. Fueled with your inner happiness and self-love.
Hack your life by:
Using forgiveness for the past, present centeredness for the present, and being enough for the future.
Tell me in the comments which of the above steps you are going to use to be unfuckwithable?
If you liked the post, it would be really appreciable if you share as well.
Thank you for reading.
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- Difference between Envy and Jealousy
- How to stop overthinking? A journey towards self-acceptance
- Seven things Mentally Strong People do