In this blog, we will see how to overcome the fear of failure. Failure is an inevitable part of life. We stop ourselves from doing things, we always wanted to, only because we fear we will fail. This is called a fear of failure.
- Fear of asking your crush out!
- Worry about asking for an increase in salary pay.
- Panic of going up on stage.
- Terror of asking your boss for payment during the pandemic!
- Worry about losing family, friend’s respect when you opt to try something new!
- Fear of failing in a relationship
- Fear of accepting the reality
(You know you suck, but you still pretend you don’t)
I don’t say fear is bad or is a negative emotion.
How was fear during stone age times?
Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger that has been pivoted throughout evolution. If people didn’t feel fear, they wouldn’t be able to protect themselves from legitimate threats which often had life or death consequences in the ancestral world. You can say a fight or a flight situation. You either fight or resort to flight for survival.
How is fear in current times?
Nowadays, the stakes are low.
You obviously don’t have huge animals running behind you. Or a hot head savage (clothed in leaves) running behind you. Or a short-faced bear and sabertooth cats trying to eat you up.
But we do still have the fight and flight mental thing.
So going for a first date feels like a fight or flight situation.
Thanks to me, I took science during college days. I understand this so well.
Fear of failure psychology
Everything seems scary at first suppose you have been on a date. Then you go to a second date, then a third. Years pass and you master the dating process. Then you think, it’s not that scary as it looked like in the first place. Everything in the first place looks scary and agitating. According to psychology, it’s like a loop. Once you understand a game, you become more confident around. Moreover, it works the reverse way as well. Once you develop a fear, you develop more fears around it.
A short motivational story
When I was in 10th std, I was a studious teen. Always listening to teachers, obeying them, being a good child. What I sucked at was I never could talk or give a speech publicly.
I used to be called to speak on the mike for assembly. (Assembly is a short prayer type before school routine starts)
Speaking to mike made me nervous. Making a mistake there, used to eat me up with guilt.
Then I was the school’s prelim topper. So at the farewell party, after all the lovely programs set for us, I had to do the most difficult part.
Go on stage to accept felicitations. And give a goddamn speech on how will I top the final exams as well!!!
And then it happened.
I gave my best speech I could ever give, in a minute. This is what I said. I will top, you don’t worry, I will top, I will make our principal proud😂😂. Though I didn’t get any claps, all I got were these words from the principal.
“You are the school topper and you gave such a horrible speech”
That ate me up for a few months. Now I am in my degree college. I am a science tutor at a renowned class in Mumbai. Not only I give amazing presentations in college but also in the class. I am a phenomenal speaker now. How I can now easily do the things I always wanted to? Years of practice, writing scripts, rewriting them. Making myself vulnerable. Accepting honest feedback got me here. The thing I hated 5 years ago I love it now. It all started with the failure I received years back. If I never experienced that, I wouldn’t have been here.
How to overcome the fear of failure?
I will discuss some psychology backed proven methods that I use a lot!
Having smart goals #1st keypoint on the fear of failure.
According to google-have, 50% of goals have a 50% chance of failure
Google applies this strategy to all its goals. It failed at google plus, google waves, googles videos, googles talk to name a few. Tell us in the comments your notable failures.
Having real and attainable goals #2nd keypoint on the fear of failure
Make sure your goals are real and attainable. In light of this, remember we can’t control everything. Only focus on what you can control. Predicting the outcome would be wrong. Give your efforts in the process without thinking of winning/losing. In the end, how much effort you put in the game is important. Not winning or losing. For instance, if you win, great for you! If you don’t then also it should be good. Be kind to yourself. It is just an event and it doesn’t define your entire life.
Writing down your fears #3rd keypoint on fear of failure
Sometimes, we can get overwhelmed by fear of failure. Know, as I discussed envy and jealousy, fear is there for a reason. Don’t mock it. Rather embrace them. Make a note of them periodically. Our minds can elevate and degrade things as per our thoughts. We are not our thoughts. Likewise, writing down your fears gives you clarity on the issue you are facing. After you attempt the event, come back and write down, how you felt doing it. Finally, you acknowledge them and can gain control over fear of failure.
Avoid personalizing and overgeneralizing #4th keypoint on fear of failure
You shouldn’t take a single instance of failure and say, “I am a loser” or ” I’m worthless”. Similarly, applicable if your efforts don’t give you the desired result. It has nothing to do with you as a person. You are already good enough.
It helps build self-esteem #5th keypoint on fear of failure
Every year, before the dawn of Christmas we have a Mr. Best competition in our college. You may call it, the “the student of the year” kind. Not really but you can say a petite version. It had three rounds. First, the introduction in which you introduce yourself. Secondly, the talent round. Thirdly, the question-answer round. I have never been to such a competition before. Interestingly, the introduction and question-answer round were ok, unlike the talent round. This made me think hard about what talents I had. Moreover, singing and dancing were only the talents the college appreciated. I didn’t know either of them.
Those days, I had a good physique since I went to the gym regularly. In light of this, I decided to go shirtless in the talent round and do some flexing. But, this was a nightmare to remove your clothes in front of a huge audience. Fear overwhelmed me. Still, I managed to do the same as decided on Mr. Vaze’s day. Amusingly, I got eliminated in the talent round. Ok, I failed at what I thought I could do, so what. Today, those memories cheer me up. I could that adventurous thing. That makes me proud. I was able to walk fearlessly owning my body.
Preparing yourself for the worst #6th keypoint on fear of failure
Ask yourself about what worse can happen in a situation.
Will I get rejected? Maybe get turned down or may get bogged down. What more can happen?
Is that the worse? You see your mind can elevate a thought to look like a monster. It can also make it look petite. Knowing the worse helps in handling failures well.
Having a positive attitude #7th keypoint on fear of failure
What would you do differently if you were absolutely guaranteed success in any undertaking? Would you try more things? Would you keep working long after others would have given up? People who have positive attitudes are successful because they keep trying even after others give up.
What key points you will use for overcoming fear of failure? Let us know in the comments!
Don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and family.
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